Fels Three Crown Motel: Your Clarence, NY Getaway Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the Fels Three Crown Motel: Your Clarence, NY Getaway Awaits! and trust me, it's a wild ride. This isn't your perfectly polished, sterile hotel review. This is the real deal, warts and all, complete with my own personal brand of chaotic enthusiasm (and probably a few typos).
First Impressions and The Whole "Getting There" Thing
Right, so, accessibility. Let's just say, I am a fan of places being accessible. Fels Three Crown Motel says it has facilities for disabled guests. That's good. I didn't personally need those, but it's a HUGE plus for anyone who does. The website is vague, though. I'd love a more detailed breakdown. (Like, "Ramps? Yes. Elevators? Yes. Braille menus? Uh…")
Getting there? Easy peasy. Free car park, right on-site. Score! No hunting for parking in a blizzard (or, you know, a regular sunny day). And a car power charging station? Hello, future! Though, my old gas guzzler felt a little… judged. They also offer airport transfer, which is BRILLIANT if you're flying in. Taxi service too, which is the perfect option for a night out if you want to enjoy the bar.
The exterior corridor? Well, it's a motel, so… yep. That part is expected. I'm not expecting a castle here, people.
Rooms: The Good, The Okay, and the "Where's the Blackout Curtain?!"
Okay, let's get real. I’m all about a comfy bed. And the bed at Fels Three Crown was… decent. Extra long bed available? Not something I specifically asked for, but hey, it's there if you need it. Linens? Clean. That's the important bit.
The room itself? Cleanliness is a big deal for me. And I have to say, it felt clean. They’ve got all the buzzwords (room sanitization, anti-viral cleaning products, etc.) and I felt pretty safe which is essential. They even have a "Room sanitization opt-out available" option which is a fantastic touch.
Now, the amenities. Coffee/tea maker? Check. Refrigerator? Check. Free bottled water? Double check! Essential! These are the things that make a difference, right? Especially after a long drive.
However… and there's always a "however," isn't there? The blackout curtains. Or, rather, the lack of blackout curtains. I am a light sleeper. Morning sunshine is my enemy. And, well, let's just say I was awake early. Like, really early. So, bring an eye mask. Trust me.
Also, the "window that opens" is a nice touch if you like fresh air.
The Internet situation? Wi-Fi in all rooms is a godsend. Free Wi-Fi? Even better. No dodgy hotel Wi-Fi fees! I was able to work from my laptop, which was great. They also offer Internet [LAN], which is a nice option for the techy folks.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Adventure
Alright, food! This is where things get interesting. Fels has a lot of options listed, which is a good sign. Restaurants? Plural! That's a win. A la carte, buffet, Asian cuisine, Western cuisine… a whole range of things.
I'm a sucker for a good breakfast. They offer Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, and a breakfast buffet. I went for the buffet. It was… okay. The usual suspects, you know? Eggs, bacon, some sad-looking fruit. But hey, it filled the hole.
The coffee shop? I didn't see one. But I did get coffee in the restaurant. They also have a bar. Excellent. I appreciate a good happy hour. They offer a poolside bar, which I didn't experience, but that sounds heavenly on a summer's day.
Room service? 24-hour? Now we're talking! Perfect for those late-night cravings. Snack bar? I missed that one. More food options are always a plus!
Ways to Relax (or, Trying to Find My Inner Zen)
Okay, so, they have a fitness center. I, uh, saw it. Didn't use it. Let's just say my idea of "fitness" involves a leisurely stroll to the snack bar.
But they do have a pool! An outdoor swimming pool! (I didn't get a pool with a view). And a sauna and spa. I'm a sucker for a good sauna. I didn't get around to trying it. Maybe next time!
They also list things like body scrubs and body wraps and massages. That sounds pretty luxurious. I'm all for a bit of pampering.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
They offer a ton of services. Daily housekeeping? Thank goodness. I'm a messy human. Laundry service? Score! Ironing service? Even better. I’m a disaster when it comes to ironing.
Cash withdrawal? Concierge? Doorman? All the things that make your stay just a little bit easier.
Contactless check-in/out? Yes, please! Especially in these weird times.
And the gift/souvenir shop? Always good for a last-minute present for the folks back home.
Cleanliness and Safety: The "Are We Safe?" Factor
This is huge, right? Especially these days. They really seem to have taken cleanliness seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, rooms sanitized between stays. They've got the hygiene certification and hand sanitizer everywhere.
They also have a doctor/nurse on call, which is reassuring. First aid kit? Check. Staff trained in safety protocols? Excellent.
For the Kids: Family-Friendly Fun
Family/child friendly? Yes! They have kids facilities. Babysitting service is listed. That’s a lifesaver for parents.
Getting Around: Location, Location, Location (and How to Leave)
Okay, so the location is pretty good. It's in Clarence, NY. Close to things. Accessible. Car park [free of charge]. You're set!
Overall Impression
Look, Fels Three Crown Motel isn't the Ritz-Carlton. But it's a solid, comfortable, clean, and convenient option. They’re trying to do things right, especially with cleanliness and safety.
My Verdict:
I'd stay here again. With a better eye mask. And maybe I'd actually use the sauna. It's not perfect, but for the price, the location, and the effort they're putting into cleanliness, it's a good choice.
Now, for the Sales Pitch…
Tired of the Same Old Getaway? Craving a Relaxing Escape in Clarence, NY?
Fels Three Crown Motel: Your Clarence, NY Getaway Awaits!
Here's what you'll get:
- A Clean and Comfortable Room: Rest easy in a space meticulously cleaned and sanitized, with free Wi-Fi to keep you connected.
- Convenience at Your Fingertips: Free parking, on-site dining options, and a super friendly staff that's ready to help.
- Relaxation and Rejuvenation: Take a dip in the outdoor pool, unwind in the sauna, or indulge in a massage (if you're feeling ambitious!).
- Family-Friendly Fun: Kids facilities and babysitting services make it easy to bring the whole crew.
- Peace of Mind: With top-notch safety protocols and staff trained in safety, you can relax knowing you are safe.
But wait, there's more!
Book your stay at Fels Three Crown Motel today and receive:
- A complimentary upgrade to a room with blackout curtains! (Limited availability - first come, first served!)
- A voucher for a free continental breakfast at the buffet.
- Exclusive access to our happy hour at the bar!
Don't miss out on this opportunity to experience the best of Clarence, NY!
Click here to book your unforgettable getaway now!
(And remember, bring your own eye mask!)
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Luxury 3-Bedroom Pool Villa: Hua Hin Paradise Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This ain't your grandma's perfectly-planned itinerary. This is… well, this is me trying to survive a stay at the Fels Three Crown Motel in Clarence, NY. And let's be honest, survival is always a crapshoot.
Fels Three Crown Motel: My Existential Road Trip Diary
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of the Bedspread
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at the Fels Three Crown. The website promised "rustic charm." What I got was… well, let's just say "rustic" feels generous. The sign out front looks like it's seen more winters than my grandma. The parking lot is populated by cars that look like they're about to cough up their last engine and die. I'm already questioning my life choices.
- 1:15 PM: Check-in. The guy at the counter, bless his heart, looks like he's seen a ghost or two in this place. He hands me a key that looks like it could unlock a medieval dungeon. "Enjoy your stay," he mumbles, barely making eye contact. I think he's seen things. Scary things.
- 1:30 PM: Into the room. Oh. My. God. The room is… beige. And the air is thick with the scent of… something. Old cigarettes? Mildew? The ghosts of all the forgotten travelers who’ve passed through here? I can't quite place it. The bedspread is a crime against humanity. It's a floral monstrosity that looks like it was ripped straight from a 1970s bowling alley. I'm instantly picturing the dust mites and the questionable stains. I might have to sleep with my clothes on.
- 1:45 PM: The TV. Surprisingly, it works. I find a cheesy local news channel and watch a report about a giant pumpkin contest. This is probably the highlight of my day.
- 2:00 PM: Attempt to find some food. The motel's "continental breakfast" is advertised. I'm already bracing myself.
- 2:15 PM: The "continental breakfast." It's a sad, sad affair. Stale bagels, pre-packaged muffins that look like they’ve been sitting around since the Eisenhower administration, and watery coffee that tastes suspiciously like dishwater. I take a bagel, slather it with the provided margarine (which is probably older than I am), and try to swallow it without gagging.
- 2:30 PM - 5:00 PM: Explore Clarence. I had grand plans. Visit a local park, maybe a quirky antique shop. But the overwhelming feeling of… well, general unease, and the lingering smell of… something… has settled in. I drive around Clarence, and it's honestly… fine. A little too quiet. A little too suburban. I start to feel like I'm in a David Lynch movie. I end up at a CVS, buying a bottle of Febreze and some industrial-strength hand sanitizer. Also, a lottery ticket. Just in case.
- 5:30 PM: Back at the motel. I spray the room with Febreze until it smells vaguely of artificial flowers and despair. I'm starting to get used to the bedspread. A little.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. I find a diner nearby. It's the classic American diner, greasy spoon kind of place. I get a burger, fries, and a milkshake. It's surprisingly good. Food is always the answer, isn't it?
- 7:00 PM: Back to the room. I watch TV, flipping channels until I find a documentary about the mating rituals of the Amazonian tree frog. It's surprisingly captivating. I begin to feel a strange sense of camaraderie with the little green guys.
- 8:00 PM: I write in my journal, "The Fels Three Crown: It's not perfect, but it's… something. Maybe. I'm not sure."
- 9:00 PM: Attempt to sleep. The bed is lumpy. The air is still…thick. I close my eyes and try to remember why I thought this trip was a good idea. It's a mystery for the ages.
Day 2: The Quest for Decent Coffee and the Eternal Struggle Against Boredom
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. I have survived the night! Victory! The bedspread and the lingering smell of whatever-it-is are still there, but I am still here. I decide I need coffee, GOOD coffee.
- 7:30 AM: The "continental breakfast" again. I bravely pass. I can't face it.
- 8:00 AM: I search for coffee. I find a local coffee shop, a little hole-in-the-wall place. It's heaven. I get a latte and a croissant. I feel human again.
- 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Decide to visit Niagara Falls. It's only a short drive away, right?
- 9:30 AM: The drive to Niagara Falls. It's beautiful. I'm so close to the falls and I almost get lost.
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Niagara Falls. It's overwhelming. The sheer power of the water, the mist, the noise… it's breathtaking. I'm a little disappointed that there aren't any cartoon anvils falling on anyone's heads, but hey, can't have everything. I spend way too much money on a cheesy tourist souvenir.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch near the falls. More burgers and fries. Comfort food is my friend.
- 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Back to the motel. I have a serious nap on the bed. I dream of escaping to a tropical island.
- 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM: I take a long walk. I get some fresh air.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at another diner. This time, I try the meatloaf. It's… okay.
- 7:00 PM: Back to the room. Watch TV. The same channels. The same commercials. The same existential dread.
- 8:00 PM: I journal, "The bedspread is starting to grow on me. Maybe. It's still hideous, but… familiar? I don't know what's happening to me."
- 9:00 PM: Sleep.
Day 3: Departure and the Lingering Ghosts of the Fels Three Crown
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. I am alive. Praise be.
- 7:30 AM: The "continental breakfast." I bravely skip it. I'm a survivor.
- 8:00 AM: Pack. Throw out the Febreze. The lingering smell is part of me now.
- 8:30 AM: Check out. The guy at the counter doesn't even look up. I feel a strange sense of kinship with him. We've both seen things.
- 8:45 AM: I drive away from the Fels Three Crown. I look back at the sign. It looks a little less menacing now. A little less… beige.
- 9:00 AM: I head home.
Final Thoughts:
The Fels Three Crown Motel wasn't the Ritz-Carlton. It was a motel. A slightly sad, slightly smelly, definitely quirky motel. But it was an experience. And maybe, just maybe, that's what travel is all about. Finding the weird, the unexpected, and the slightly… off-putting. And surviving.
I will never forget the bedspread, though. Never.
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Fels Three Crown Motel: Your Clarence, NY Getaway - Or Is It? (Let's Be Honest)
So, what *is* the Fels Three Crown Motel, anyway? Sounds... regal?
Is it clean? Because, you know, hygiene is important.
What are the rooms like? Basic? Spacious? Mystery-filled?
Is there a pool? Because a pool could sway my decision dramatically.
What's the deal with the location? Is it near anything?
Is there breakfast? Because I *need* breakfast.
Okay, spill the tea. What's the *best* thing about the Fels Three Crown Motel?
What about the *worst* thing? Be honest!
Would you stay there again?
