Goa's Grandest Escape: Exotica Hotel Awaits!
Goa's Grandest Escape: Exotica Hotel Awaits! - The Unfiltered Review (and a Plea to Book!)
Okay, folks, buckle up. Because I'm about to drop some serious truth bombs about the Exotica Hotel in Goa. Forget those polished, overly-perfect reviews – this is the real deal. And let me tell you, it's a rollercoaster, but a darn good one.
First, the Essentials (and the Things That REALLY Matter to Me):
Let's get the boring stuff out of the way first. Accessibility: They say they have Facilities for disabled guests. I didn't personally need it, but it's good to know, right? Wheelchair accessible? I'd double-check with the hotel directly. Accessibility is SO important, and it's one of those things that can make or break a trip for some.
Internet Access: Bless the internet gods! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! And, you know, Internet [LAN] if you're old school. Internet services are there, too. I'm talking about it because I need it to stay connected. I'm addicted. Wi-Fi in public areas? Yep, but let's be honest, who wants to scroll through Instagram in the lobby when the beach is calling?!
Cleanliness and Safety: (Because, Hello, COVID!)
This is where Exotica actually shines. They're taking it seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays – all the buzzwords are there, and honestly, it felt… safe. Like, I could actually breathe without holding my breath. They have all the basic Hygiene certification, Hand sanitizer is everywhere. Staff trained in safety protocol and Safe dining setup? Check, check. They even have Room sanitization opt-out available, which is a nice touch. They have Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, and Cashless payment service, and all the other usual suspects.
But here's the thing that really impressed me: Professional-grade sanitizing services. I've seen some hotels pretend to clean, but Exotica actually felt clean. And that, my friends, is worth its weight in gold. They also have Doctor/nurse on call, and a First aid kit, just in case.
Food, Glorious Food (and the occasional Food Coma):
Okay, let's talk grub. Because, let's be honest, food is life. They have a ton of options. Restaurants, multiple! Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, and Western cuisine in restaurant? Yep. Vegetarian restaurant? Affirmative. Breakfast [buffet] – a classic! Buffet in restaurant? You got it. A la carte in restaurant? Of course.
I went for the Breakfast [buffet] every single morning. And it was a thing. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was decent, the Bottle of water was always welcome. I remember one morning, I was so hungover from the night before, I just stared at the food, and the waiter asked if I wanted some Soup in restaurant. It was a lifesaver.
I'm not a huge Desserts in restaurant kind of person, but I could not resist the little chocolate mousse cups! Heaven!
My absolute favourite? The Poolside bar. Picture this: sun, cocktails, and the gentle lapping of the pool. It's pure bliss. They even have a Happy hour! I spent a significant amount of time there. Seriously, I think the bartenders know me by name.
They also offer Room service [24-hour]. Which, let's be honest, is a lifesaver when you're nursing a hangover or just feeling lazy. They have a Snack bar, too.
Ways to Relax (and Avoid Actually Doing Anything):
This is where Exotica truly delivers. Swimming pool [outdoor]? Absolutely! And it's gorgeous. Pool with view? You betcha. The Spa is… well, it's the kind of place you could easily spend an entire afternoon.
I went for a Massage. Oh. My. God. I think I actually levitated for a while. Pure, unadulterated bliss. They also offer Body scrub and Body wrap – which I didn't try, but I'm already regretting it.
They have a Sauna, a Steamroom, and a Foot bath. I didn't utilize these features, but they are there!
And if you're feeling energetic (which I wasn't, most of the time), there's a Fitness center and Gym/fitness.
For the Kids (and the Grown-Up Kids at Heart):
This is where I'm a bit limited, because I'm a solo traveller. But they have Babysitting service, Kids facilities, and Kids meal. Family/child friendly? Seems like it!
Services and Conveniences: (The Stuff That Makes Life Easier)
They have pretty much everything you could ask for. Air conditioning in public area, Cash withdrawal, a Concierge, Daily housekeeping, a Doorman, Dry cleaning, an Elevator, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, and a Terrace. The Car park [free of charge] is a massive bonus.
Available in All Rooms: (The Nitty-Gritty)
Okay, the rooms. They're comfortable. They have Air conditioning, a Balcony, Bathrobes, a Bathtub, Blackout curtains (thank goodness!), Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, a Desk, Free bottled water, a Hair dryer, an In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, an Ironing facilities, a Mini bar, a Refrigerator, a Satellite/cable channels, a Seating area, Shower, Slippers, a Smoke detector, a Sofa, a Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, and Wi-Fi [free].
I had a room with a Window that opens, which I loved.
The Quirks, the Imperfections, and the Honest Truths:
Alright, here's where it gets real.
- The Elevator: It's a bit slow. Okay, it's really slow. Bring a good book (or your phone).
- The Room Service: Sometimes, it takes a while. Patience, grasshopper. You're on vacation!
- The Noise: While they have Soundproof rooms, sometimes you can still hear the party going on downstairs. Embrace it! You're in Goa!
- The Overall Vibe: It's not the most cutting-edge, ultra-modern hotel. It's more… classic. But it's comfortable, and it feels like a proper getaway.
My Verdict: Book It, You Fool!
Look, Exotica Hotel isn't perfect. But it's a solid choice. It's clean, safe, the food is good, the spa is amazing, and the staff are friendly. It's the kind of place where you can actually relax and forget about the real world for a while.
My Recommendation:
Book now. Seriously. Stop reading this review and go book it. You deserve it.
Here's why you should book NOW:
- Escape the Ordinary: Exotica offers a genuine escape from the daily grind. Imagine yourself lounging by the pool, sipping a cocktail, and letting all your worries melt away.
- Unwind in Style: Indulge in luxurious spa treatments, savor delicious food, and enjoy the comfort of well-appointed rooms.
- Peace of Mind: With their commitment to cleanliness and safety, you can relax knowing you're in good hands.
- The Goa Vibe: Experience the vibrant culture and beauty of Goa while enjoying the comfort and convenience of a top-notch hotel.
Don't wait. Your grand escape awaits! Book your stay at Exotica Hotel today and start dreaming of sun-drenched days and blissful relaxation.
Cairo Rooftop Oasis: Stunning 2BR Pearl Rose Apartment!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a gloriously messy, sun-drenched, and probably slightly sunburned trip to the Grand Goa Exotica. This isn't your perfectly curated Instagram feed; this is the real Goa, warts and all, served with a side of existential dread and a whole lotta spice.
Grand Goa Exotica: My Chaotic Goa Adventure (A Mostly True Account)
Day 1: Arrival & Immediate Regret (Just Kidding… Mostly)
- Morning (6:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Wake up in the UK with a soul-crushing alarm. Pack the last minute, check the passport… twice. Realise I forgot the sunscreen I specifically bought for this trip. Panic. Fly to Goa. The flight was a blur of bad airline food, screaming babies, and the silent judgment of the woman in 12B who clearly has her life together.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Arrive in Goa! The heat hits you like a physical force. The airport is a glorious mess of chaos and friendly chaos. Taxi driver, whose name I promptly forgot, drives me to the Grand Goa Exotica. The drive is an assault on the senses: honking tuk-tuks, vibrant colours, and the distinct smell of… well, I'm not sure, but it's definitely Goa.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Check into the Grand Goa Exotica. The lobby is beautiful, all marble and gleaming surfaces, but I'm still a sweaty, disoriented mess. The room? Gorgeous. Ocean view. I immediately collapse on the bed, vowing to do absolutely nothing for the next hour.
- Evening (5:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Attempt to locate the pool. Fail. Get hopelessly lost in the hotel's maze-like corridors. Finally, stumble upon the pool, which is even more stunning than the pictures. Jump in. Regret not having sunscreen. Get slightly burnt. Order a ridiculously overpriced cocktail from the pool bar. Decide it's worth it. Watch the sunset. Feel a flicker of "This is the life!"
Day 2: Beach Bliss (and a Near-Death Experience with a Spicy Curry)
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Breakfast at the hotel. The buffet is a glorious, carb-laden free-for-all. Attempt to sample everything. Fail. Overeat. Feel slightly ill. Wander down to the beach.
- Morning/Afternoon (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Beach time! Anjuna Beach. The sand is hot. The water is warm. The waves are surprisingly powerful. Spend the next few hours alternating between sunbathing, paddling in the ocean, and attempting to build a sandcastle that looks vaguely like something. Fail.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Lunch at a beach shack. Order a vindaloo. The waiter winks and says, "It's very spicy." I, being a fool, tell him I can handle it. I can't handle it. Tears stream down my face. My mouth feels like it's on fire. I drink about a gallon of water. I'm pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes. But… it was also delicious.
- Afternoon/Evening (3:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Recover from the vindaloo. Stare at the ocean. Contemplate the meaning of life. Consider whether I should have ordered the butter chicken. Decide I'm too traumatized to eat anything else.
- Evening (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Sunset. Another ridiculously overpriced cocktail. This time, I'm smarter and order something mild. Watch the sunset. Feel a sense of peace. Maybe Goa isn't so bad after all.
Day 3: Culture Shock & Shopping (and a Definite Lack of Air Conditioning)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Attempt to venture outside the hotel. Hire a scooter (against all better judgment). Get horribly lost. Drive past a cow. Drive past a temple. Drive past a dog. Drive past everything. Almost crash. Decide scooters are not for me.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Visit the local market. It's a sensory overload: the smells, the sounds, the colours… the persistent vendors trying to sell me things I definitely don't need. Buy a ridiculously bright scarf. Bargain aggressively (or at least, I think I'm bargaining aggressively). Get ripped off. Don't care.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Visit a spice plantation. It's hot. It's humid. I sweat. A lot. Learn about different spices. Smell a lot of different spices. Buy a ridiculous amount of spice. Feel virtuous.
- Evening (5:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Return to the hotel. Discover that the air conditioning in my room is broken. Sweat. Complain to reception. Wait. Sweat some more. Finally, the air conditioning is fixed. Feel a surge of gratitude. Order room service. Fall asleep immediately.
Day 4: The Grand Goa Exotica - A Deep Dive
Okay, let's get real. Let's ditch the polite itinerary and really live this day at the Grand Goa Exotica. This is where the messiness gets good.
- Morning (8:30 AM): Wake up. The sunrise is peeking over the ocean. For a brief, fleeting moment, I feel like I've got it all figured out. Then, the reality of a slightly-too-loud rooster outside my window crashes in.
- Morning (9:00 AM): Breakfast. Today I'm going for the full Indian experience. I load up my plate with idli, vada, and something that looks suspiciously like a deep-fried doughnut. I'm half-expecting it to be the best thing I've ever tasted, and half-expecting it to send me running for the bathroom.
- Morning (9:30 AM): The food is incredible. My taste buds are doing a happy dance. I'm officially in love with Indian breakfast.
- Morning/Afternoon (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Spa time! The hotel spa is supposed to be amazing. I'm picturing myself in a tranquil oasis, getting a relaxing massage. The reality? The masseuse is incredibly strong. My shoulders are getting a workout. She's clearly not messing around. It's not relaxing, but it is effective.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Lunch. I try the hotel's restaurant. It's beautiful, but I find myself staring at the ocean. I have a sudden craving for a simple, greasy burger. I contemplate leaving the hotel, but the heat is a deterrent.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Pool time! I find a sun lounger, order a drink, and start to read my book. A small child starts splashing water on my face. I move. Another child starts running past and kicks my book into the pool. Sigh.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM - 5:00 PM): I'm feeling a bit defeated, so I retreat to my room. I decide to write in my journal, but the words just won't come. I'm feeling a weird mix of boredom and overwhelmed. I open the balcony door and watch the people below, and I start to feel a little bit more at peace.
- Evening (5:00 PM - 7:00 PM): I go for a walk on the beach again. It's getting towards sunset, and the sky is turning all sorts of gorgeous colours. A stray dog follows me. I give it some of my chips.
- Evening (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Dinner at the hotel restaurant. I order something familiar, like pasta. I'm craving comfort food. I realize I'm homesick, but in a good way. I'm grateful for the experience and the memories.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Back in my room, I watch the ocean for a while and drift off to sleep.
Day 5: Departure (and a Promise to Return… Eventually)
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Last breakfast. Try to eat everything again. Fail. Pack. Check out. Say goodbye to the Grand Goa Exotica. Feel a pang of sadness.
- Morning/Afternoon (9:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Taxi to the airport. The drive is more familiar this time. I'm starting to understand the rhythm of Goa. The airport is still a glorious mess.
- **Afternoon (1:
Goa's Grandest Escape: Exotica Hotel Awaits! (Or Does It?) - FAQs, But Make 'Em Real
Okay, so Exotica... is it *actually* grand? Like, are we talking Buckingham Palace grand, or more "slightly fancier than my grandma's living room" grand?
The beach. Is the beach *actually* private? Because I've been promised "private beaches" before and ended up sharing them with a herd of cows and a particularly persistent vendor.
Let's talk food. Is the food as amazing as it looks in the online photos? Because I'm a foodie, and I have high standards. (And a bottomless stomach.)
The rooms! What are the rooms *actually* like? Are they clean? Do they have air conditioning that actually *works*? (Important in Goa!)
What about the pool? Is it as Instagrammable as it looks? And, more importantly, is it crowded?
Is there anything truly *bad* about the Exotica? What's the biggest downside?
Okay, you mentioned the spa. Spill the tea! Worth the splurge?
