Escape to Paradise: Stunning Beachfront Apartment in Tenerife!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, 'cause we're diving HEADFIRST into Escape to Paradise: Stunning Beachfront Apartment in Tenerife! and, lemme tell you, it’s a rollercoaster of sun, sand, and… well, let's just say I have opinions. This isn't your slick, pre-packaged travel brochure review; this is the REAL DEAL, warts and all. Prepare for rambles, tangents, and the occasional "OMG, I can't believe this happened!" moment.
First Impressions & Getting There (The "Getting Around" & "Accessibility" Rundown…Kinda)
Okay, so the name is slightly hyperbolic. Paradise? Let's settle for "bloody gorgeous." The beachfront location? Spot on. Waking up to the sound of the waves? Chef's kiss. Getting to the apartment, however, was a bit of a saga. Airport transfer was smooth – thank goodness for that! - but maneuvering the luggage (and my general lack of coordination) through the… well, let's just say the "facilities for disabled guests" might need a little more fine-tuning. The elevator? Thankfully there was one. But the hallways? Could be a tad wider for those with wheelchairs or, you know, just a tendency to bump into things. (Me. That's me.)
Accessibility: The Good, The "Could Be Better," and the "Hmmm…"
- Wheelchair accessible: Definitely some areas are. The apartment itself was pretty spacious, which was a HUGE plus. But I'm not sure how comfortable the outdoor areas would be.
- Elevator: ✅
- Facilities for disabled guests: Listed. But I’d recommend calling ahead if you have specific needs to confirm details.
- Check-in/out [express]: They did their best to be quick, but I think my excitement to get to the beach slowed things down.
The Apartment Itself: My Personal Sanctuary (with Wi-Fi!)
Okay, the apartment. The apartment. It’s where the "Escape to Paradise" name actually starts to make sense.
- Wi-Fi [free]: Thank GOD. I'm a digital nomad trapped in a beach bum's body. I needed that connection!
- Internet access – wireless: Solid signal everywhere. No buffering while I streamed my guilty pleasure (trashy reality TV – don't judge).
- Internet access – LAN: Never used it, but it's there, which is reassuring.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: I'm assuming they do, since they listed it. It felt clean, which is the important thing.
- Air conditioning: A MUST in Tenerife. Thank you, sweet, sweet AC!
- Blackout curtains: SLEEP! I got glorious, uninterrupted sleep!
- Balcony: My happy place. Morning coffee, sunset cocktails, the whole shebang.
- Additional toilet: Nice to have. Especially after that second (or third) cocktail.
- Mini bar: Well-stocked. Let's just say I contributed significantly to its depletion.
- Free bottled water: They knew me. They knew me.
- Coffee/tea maker: Essential. And the complimentary tea? A lovely touch.
The Bathroom: My Little Spa…ish
Okay, the bathroom was… functional. The shower pressure was excellent. The toiletries were decent. But the "bathtub"? Let's just say it wasn't the most luxurious. The slippers were a nice touch though. And I appreciated having a scale, even if I chose not to use it.
Food, Glorious Food (and Drinks!) – Or, My Stomach's Adventure
Let's be honest, a big part of any escape is the food. And, wow, did this place deliver.
- Restaurants: Several options! I'm a sucker for a buffet, and the breakfast buffet was a winner.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Eggs, bacon, pastries, the whole shebang. I may have gone back for seconds… and thirds.
- A la carte in restaurant: Tried it once. Delicious.
- Poolside bar: Crucial. Especially for those afternoon cocktails.
- Happy hour: YES! My wallet (and liver) loved it.
- Coffee shop: Perfect for a caffeine fix.
- Room service [24-hour]: Brilliant for those late-night cravings.
- Snack bar: Convenient for a quick bite.
- Bottle of water: Always appreciated.
The Spa & Relaxation Zone: Did Someone Say "Body Scrub"?
Okay, now this is where things got really good.
- Spa: A proper spa! I'm in heaven.
- Massage: Book it. Seriously. Do it. I got a deep tissue massage, and I walked out feeling like a new person.
- Sauna: Ahhh. The perfect way to unwind.
- Steamroom: Even better after a long day in the sun.
- Body scrub: My skin felt like silk.
- Pool with view: Absolutely stunning. I spent HOURS just floating and staring at the ocean.
Things to Do (Beyond the Beach and the Buffet)
While I spent most of my time horizontal, Escape to Paradise offers quite a few options for those who like, you know, doing things.
- Fitness center: I saw it. I didn't use it. (See: Buffet. See: Cocktails.)
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: The main pool was gorgeous.
- Daily housekeeping: The place was spotless.
- Gift/souvenir shop: I got some cheesy souvenirs for my friends. (Don't judge.)
- Concierge: They were incredibly helpful.
- Car park [free of charge]: Bonus! Parking in Tenerife can be a nightmare.
- Cash withdrawal: Super convenient.
Cleanliness and Safety: The “Post-Pandemic” Factor
Honestly, I was a little anxious about traveling, but Escape to Paradise made me feel safe.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good to know.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere!
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They did their best to enforce it.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They were professional and wearing masks.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: I felt safe.
The Quirks & the "Meh" Moments
Okay, no place is perfect. Here’s where things got a little… interesting.
- The Staff: Generally, lovely. But there was one guy at the front desk who seemed perpetually overwhelmed. Bless his heart.
- The "View": Some rooms had amazing views. Mine was… good. Not amazing.
- The Noise: The ocean is loud, but in a good way. However, you could sometimes hear the neighbors.
- The "Western Cuisine": It was fine. But I came to Tenerife for the tapas, not the burgers.
Overall, Would I Recommend This Place?
YES! Absolutely! Despite the minor imperfections, Escape to Paradise is a fantastic place to unwind, soak up the sun, and forget about the world for a while. The location is unbeatable, the apartment is comfortable, and the spa is pure bliss.
My "Escape to Paradise" Anecdote (The One That Made Me Laugh Out Loud)
Okay, so here's a story. I was at the poolside bar, enjoying a very large cocktail, when I decided I needed to try the "foot bath" at the spa. (Yes, I know.) Now, picture this: me, a little tipsy, waddling across the hotel grounds in my flip-flops. I get to the spa, and the lovely spa attendant leads me to a… tiny foot bath. I'm talking, like, a child's size. I barely fit! And then, while I’m trying to squeeze my feet in, I somehow manage to spill my cocktail all over myself. The spa attendant just burst out laughing. We had the best time together.
The Offer: Your Own Escape to Paradise Awaits!
Ready to trade your everyday for sun-soaked bliss?
Book your stay at Escape to Paradise: Stunning Beachfront Apartment in Tenerife!
Here's what you get:
- Unbeatable Beachfront Location: Wake up to the sound of the waves and step right onto the sand.
- Luxurious Apartment: Relax in a spacious, well-appointed apartment with all the amenities you need (and a few you didn't know you wanted!).
- World-Class Spa: Indulge in rejuvenating treatments, from massages to body scrubs, and melt your stress away.
- Delicious Dining: Savor a wide range of culinary delights, from the breakfast buffet to poolside snacks.
- Unforgettable Memories: Create moments you'll cherish forever.
For a limited time, get 15% off your stay AND a complimentary bottle of local wine upon arrival!
**Don't
Bali Bliss: Unwind at Bisma Suites, Legian's Hottest Hotel
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. This is the real deal, a messy, glorious, occasionally hungover exploration of Bonito Apto Playa Las Américas, Playa Honda, Tenerife, Spain. Prepare for opinions, tangents, and the distinct possibility of me forgetting to tell you important things. Let's dive in:
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Luggage Scare (aka, Welcome to Paradise…Maybe?)
- 10:00 AM (ish): Arrive at Tenerife South Airport (TFS). Okay, first hurdle: finding the damn airport. Seriously, the signs are… well, they exist. Eventually. After a near-breakdown involving a rental car that looked like it had been through a demolition derby and a heated argument with the GPS (who clearly had it out for me), I made it.
- 11:30 AM (ish): The luggage carousel of doom. My suitcase? MIA. Panic. Actual, full-blown, hyperventilating panic. This is where the "perfect vacation" facade cracks. Turns out, it was chilling in Frankfurt. Thanks, Lufthansa.
- 12:30 PM: Found the apartment! Bonito Apto Playa Las Américas. (Let's be honest, "bonito" is a stretch but hey, it's got a balcony.) The view? Okay, that's bonito. The ocean, the sun… I might actually survive this. The unpacking, the unpacking is what I do.
- 1:30 PM: Lunch. Desperate measures call for desperate tapas. Found a little place down the street – La Tasca (or something equally generic). The food? Surprisingly decent. The local wine? Strong enough to make me forget about the missing suitcase for a few glorious minutes.
- 3:00 PM: Beach reconnaissance. Playa de las Américas. Oh, the humanity. The sheer volume of sunburnt flesh! But the sand is soft, and the water is… surprisingly warm. Dipped my toes, felt the sun on my skin. I'm starting to relax. Maybe. Still thinking about that suitcase.
- 6:00 PM: Attempted a sunset stroll. Got distracted by a gelato stand. Worth it. The sunset? Spectacular. The gelato? Strawberry, obviously. The best strawberry gelato I've ever had.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner. Another tapas place. This time, it's called El Gato Loco (The Crazy Cat). The name should have warned me. The service was… eccentric. The food was… edible. The bill? Ouch. Definitely tourist prices. But hey, I'm on vacation! And the wine is still flowing.
- 9:30 PM: Collapse in front of the TV. Found a Spanish channel with a dubbed version of "Friends." My Spanish is terrible, but the laughter is universal. Exhausted, happy, and still missing my suitcase.
Day 2: Watersports, Sunburns, and a Revelation (Maybe!)
- 9:00 AM: Wake up feeling… surprisingly good. Must be the sea air. And possibly the wine.
- 10:00 AM: Watersports time! Signed up for jet skiing. I've never done this before. This could go horribly wrong. It was… exhilarating! I felt like James Bond (if James Bond wore a slightly too-small life vest).
- 11:30 AM: Regret. The sun is brutal. I am now a lobster. My skin is screaming. I need aloe vera, stat.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch. Found a little beach shack. Ordered a plate of papas arrugadas (wrinkled potatoes) with mojo sauce. Delicious, but the sunburn is making me question all my life choices.
- 2:00 PM: Attempted to read on the balcony. Failed. The sun is still mocking me. The book? Something pretentious about existentialism. Not the right vibe for a sunburned beach bum.
- 3:00 PM: The Revelation. Okay, maybe not a real revelation, but something. As I'm slathering myself in aloe vera, I realize… I'm actually enjoying this. The chaos, the sunburn, the missing suitcase… it's all part of the experience. The real experience. Not the perfectly curated Instagram version.
- 4:00 PM: Nap. Needed.
- 6:00 PM: Sunset cocktails. Found a bar with actual good cocktails. The bartender? Charming. The view? Still amazing.
- 8:00 PM: Dinner. This time, I'm branching out. Found a restaurant specializing in fresh seafood. The grilled octopus was… divine. The sangria? Lethal.
- 9:30 PM: Stumbled back to the apartment, slightly tipsy and profoundly content. This is living.
Day 3: Lost in Translation and an Unexpected Friendship
- 9:00 AM: The Great Suitcase Update! Still in Frankfurt. Sigh.
- 10:00 AM: Decided to venture out of the tourist bubble. Headed to a local market. My Spanish is… well, it's there. Somewhere. Attempted to buy some fruit. Failed miserably. Ended up pointing and smiling a lot.
- 11:00 AM: Met a lovely old woman at the market. She saw me struggling and, bless her heart, took pity. We communicated through a mixture of broken Spanish, hand gestures, and shared laughter. She helped me pick out the best mangoes I've ever tasted.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. Back at the apartment. Ate the mangoes. They were, as the old woman had promised, pure sunshine.
- 1:00 PM: Explored the local area, lost in the tiny streets.
- 3:00 PM: Found a little café in a square. Ordered a coffee and just people-watched. The pace of life here is different. Slower. Calmer.
- 5:00 PM: Went for a swim in the sea. Salt water is good for everything, right?
- 7:00 PM: Dinner in the apartment. Cooking is not my forte but I tried to make something. It was edible.
- 8:00 PM: Watched the sunset and then the stars.
- 10:00 PM: Slept like a baby.
Day 4: Double Down on Experience: Mount Teide - The Giant's Grasp
- 8:00 AM: Wake up earlier than expected. Today is the day: Mount Teide. Heard it's a must-see. Also heard it's cold.
- 9:00 AM: The drive up is breathtaking. Seriously. The landscape transforms from beachy paradise to something… alien. Volcanic rock, sparse vegetation, and a road that winds its way up, up, up.
- 10:30 AM: Arrive at the cable car station. The queue is long. I'm starting to question my life choices.
- 11:00 AM: The cable car ride. The views are insane. You're literally going up into the clouds. The air gets thinner, the wind picks up. It's… surreal. A bit nerve-wracking. But mostly… awesome.
- 11:30 AM: At the top. The summit. The air is frigid. The view? Out of this world. You can see the whole island. It's a panorama of volcanic peaks, cloud-filled valleys, and the endless blue of the ocean. It feels… humbling. Powerful. Like standing on the roof of the world.
- 12:30 PM: The hike. There are trails. I choose one. It's challenging. Steep. The altitude is making me breathless. But the scenery… the red and black volcanic rock, the strange, otherworldly plants… it's like being on another planet.
- 2:00 PM: Back down the cable car. My legs are jelly. I'm exhausted. But I feel… alive. This is what travel is about. Pushing yourself. Seeing something incredible. Feeling small in the face of something huge.
- 3:00 PM: Lunch. A picnic I packed. Ate it with the best view in the world.
- 4:00 PM: The drive down. Reflecting on the journey.
- 6:00 PM: Back at the apartment. Tired but full of wonder. This is the best day so far.
Day 5: Farewell and the Suitcase Saga Continues (Maybe!)
- 9:00 AM: The news I was dreading: My suitcase is still lost. At least I have my phone and credit cards, but it's still annoying.
- 10:00 AM: Last walk along the beach. Goodbye to the sand, the sun, the waves.
- 11:00 AM: Some last minute souvenir shopping.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at La Tasca again. For old times
Escape to Paradise: Tenerife Beachfront Apartment - Your Questions Answered (and My Honest Thoughts!)
Okay, so... is it REALLY beachfront? Like, do I roll out of bed and onto the sand?
Alright, let's be real. "Beachfront" can be a bit… flexible, right? I mean, I've seen "beachfront" that requires a hike, a swim, and a prayer to get to the beach. But here? Honey, YES. You practically *are* on the beach. You open the balcony door, and BAM! Sand. The waves are like, right there. I swear, the first morning, I woke up to the sound of the ocean and nearly choked on my coffee because I was so utterly, ridiculously happy. It's the kind of beachfront that makes you want to chuck your phone in the sea and just *be*. (Though, I didn't. Needed to Instagram that view, obviously.)
What's the apartment *actually* like? Is it all pristine and perfect like the photos?
Okay, okay, the photos. They're good. *Really* good. But the reality? Well, it's even better, in a slightly imperfect, lived-in kind of way. Think less sterile hotel and more… a stylish friend's awesome beach house. Yeah, the kitchen's got all the essentials (and a decent coffee maker, which is crucial). The living room? Comfy couches, perfect for collapsing onto after a day of sun-worshiping. And the balcony... oh, the balcony. That's where you'll spend 90% of your time. (Don't judge me.) There might be a slightly wonky drawer in the kitchen, and maybe a tiny, almost-unnoticeable scratch on the coffee table. But honestly? It adds character. It’s not a museum, it's a *home*. And a darned good one at that. I even left a little sand on the rug, just to remember. (Don't tell the owner!)
Is it noisy? I need my beauty sleep!
Right, noise. That's a big one. And look, it *is* beachfront. So you've got the ocean, which is generally lovely and soothing... unless it's a bit choppy, in which case it's more like a constant, low-level rumble. Then, you've got the seagulls. Those feathered bandits. They're persistent. And vocal. They start early. REALLY early. I'd recommend earplugs, honestly. Or, embrace the chaos! I'm a light sleeper, but I found myself getting used to it. It became part of the whole experience. It's like, "Oh, the seagulls are at it again? Time for coffee and the balcony!" (And maybe a quick grumble under my breath.)
What's the Wi-Fi like? Gotta stay connected, you know...
Ugh, the Wi-Fi. Okay, so it's… adequate. Let's put it that way. It's not super-fast, and it *did* occasionally decide to take a little vacation of its own. I mean, I was trying to video call my mum and the connection kept dropping. She was convinced I was hiding something. Which, technically, I was - the fact that I was sunning myself in Tenerife and she was stuck in the rain. But back to the Wi-Fi. It's fine for emails, browsing, and the occasional Instagram upload (priorities, people!). But if you're planning on streaming movies all day, you might get a bit frustrated. Personally, I saw it as a good excuse to disconnect. Read a book. Stare at the ocean. It’s a win-win, really.
Is it family-friendly? Thinking of bringing the kids...
Hmm, family-friendly... Okay, so I didn't have kids with me, but I did see a few families around. The beach is right there, so that's a massive plus. Imagine the sandcastles! The paddling! The inevitable meltdowns over ice cream! The apartment itself seemed fine for kids - plenty of space, and the balcony is safe, although I'd probably keep a close eye on the little ones (and the ocean!). There's no dedicated kids' club or anything like that, but honestly, the beach *is* the kids' club. Just be prepared for sandy everything. And maybe pack extra sunscreen. And patience. (Lots and lots of patience.)
What about the local area? Anything fun to do?
Oh, the local area! It's fantastic. There are restaurants galore, from casual beachside shacks to fancier places (though I'm a big fan of the shacks, personally - best seafood ever!). There are shops, bars, and all sorts of things to keep you entertained. I took a boat trip to see the whales and dolphins, which was incredible. (Seriously, do it. Amazing.) I also explored some of the local towns, which were charming and full of character. And then there's Mount Teide... the volcano! Spectacular. I actually hired a car and drove up there, and the views were just… mind-blowing. I spent a whole day just wandering around, taking photos, and feeling utterly insignificant in the face of nature's majesty. It was a proper "wow" moment. But be warned, driving in Tenerife can be… interesting. Lots of winding roads and hairpin turns. I may or may not have squealed a few times. (Okay, I squealed a lot.)
Is it good value for money? I'm on a budget!
Okay, budget. That's a tricky one. Look, Tenerife is not cheap, but I thought the apartment was pretty darn good value, considering the location. You're paying for the beachfront access, the views, and the convenience. You could probably find cheaper options further inland, but honestly, being able to stroll onto the beach whenever you want? Worth every penny, in my opinion. Think about it. You're saving money on transport to and from the beach. You're saving money on… well, everything! Because you'll never want to leave the apartment. Ever. I was tempted to just move in permanently and become a professional beach bum. (Still considering it, actually.)
Would you go back? (Be honest!)
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Absolutely, unequivocally, YES! I’m already planning my return. Seriously, I’mWander Stay Spot
